You Were Meant to Thrive in Love, Not Just Survive
What’s the story look like after you've forgiven yourself? What now? What’s next?
When you are going through a devastating time, what’s the thing that’s holding you back mostly? Is it a constant head conversation of resentment and regret? Do you keep telling yourself that you can't quite make it through?
You haven't forgiven yourself yet. You haven’t let go of the story from your past that you hold onto so tightly. We hold ourself back more than anything or anyone else. We use the conditions of our life to make excuses.
Something happened in our past, a tragedy small or large. We’ve been trying to survive our way through to make sure that never happens again. So we take on survival skills, and that becomes a strategy we play out over and over to try and GET the love that we want.
Has it caused you to continue to suffer? It may have served you well for a while, but if you’re real with yourself, is that answer a yes or a no?
We’re not honest with ourselves enough and so we continue to play out our survival strategies.
Do you have head conversations like this, “ If I could go back in time I would have just…” ? We know when what we’re doing isn't helpful. We know when it isn't good for anyone especially ourselves. When these ugly uncomfortable patterns show up in our lives, it’s not fighting them, flying from them or trying to hide or avoid them. That doesn’t work. That just perpetuates the story.
You need the tools to not spiral out. You need to be anchored within yourself. You need to find your way back to your truest self.
You have to let it all go. The past, the anger, the sadness, this survival strategy, it hasn’t really been working. You can’t control how people love you, you can only control how you love others.
What good is love from someone else if it’s not genuine anyway? Stop holding on to what you know isn’t helpful. It wasn’t your fault. It’s just the survival strategy you learned to try and GET love from people in your life. It just doesn’t work.
Your survival strategy is still fighting for your limitation that you're not worthy or you don’t deserve love to be in a relationship. Stop fighting it. Stop pushing against yourself. Stop trying to swim up stream. Courage is standing up in the river, acknowledging yourself, and letting your pain pass you while you hold your ground.
Acknowledge how you feel right now. Realize you've been playing out a strategy to GET love in some way that just doesn't fully deliver for you. You've learned this survival strategy and these survival skills. They haven't truly delivered for you. So now what? Can you unlearn these survival skills and begin to learn to love and receive love? Yes ! You can. You just have to see it for yourself.
You've got to discover the motivation that has kept you playing a role where you continue to keep playing not to loose. It’s like playing a poker game and folding every round. Trying to get someone to love you doesn’t work. It’s better to be in a good relationship with yourself and understand that you're ALREADY worthy of love. You're worthy to receive love. You don't have to do anything to try and GET love. Just discover who you are. Stop playing the role you think you need to play to GET love. Start playing the role you where meant to play, the natural self you where born to be.
When you love and accept THAT person, you'll attract the kind of love you are looking for.