Aaron talks with his High School Girlfriend "Lauren" about her Perspective

Let me introduce you to Morgan aka “Lauren” my girlfriend from high school. We talk about our funny RomCom stories, her perspective on dating me as a very conservative Christian dude at the time, and her cat relationship problems. 

1:15 min Aaron Narrates

What’s up everyone. Sometimes I wonder, “is it worth going to your past and digging it up and talking about it?” I don’t think it’s good to dwell on it, but I think its helpful to examine it, learn from it, and change your perspective.

And to change my perspective I had to go back and look at all my relationships, see where I went wrong, and see how I could’ve done things a little differently. If you’ve been listening to this season, you might have heard about my first big break up with who we Faux named “Lauren”. Her name is actually Morgan and she’s joining us on this episode to talk about our experience.

At one point during our relationship I was challenged to break up with her because I didn’t know if she was a Christian at the time, and I was in a Christian that didn’t want me to date a non-christian, which ironically was very not Christian of them.  I think often times we make these decisions, and assume a lot about people and we don’t love and accept them for who they are. We don’t even ask questions to find out more about them. 

Turns out Morgan was raised Christian, yet I almost broke up with her and that was ridiculous, unloving, and not accepting. But I think we can examine our relationships, and ask our loved ones what their experiences are. Instead of seeing them as WE are, get to know them for who THEY are. 

Instead of distancing ourselves, being afraid, and not knowing who someone is, try to invited them into a conversation and get to know them. Then we get to see them for who they really are and love them and accept them. 

So let me introduce you to Morgan my ex from high school, all our funny rom com stories, her perspective on dating me as a very conservative Christian dude at the time, and her cat relationship problems. 

3:05 min 

Aaron asks Morgan, “How’s your cat problems?” She has very needy cats. And she has nice Napa wine. The Cats need the door slightly open. 

5:00 min

Morgan is very detailed person. She remembers things specifically including NOT looking like Avril Lavigne. Morgan, says, “You mean the wrong thing Josh said.”

Morgan thought she was Goth Stephanie, but Aaron clarifies she’s more like “Goth Zoey Deschanel”. She doesn’t look like Zoey, its only cause the bangs. 

6:35 min

Aaron and Morgan describe her style.  Aaron tried to offend Morgan. She sarcastically says, “it’s cultural appropriation.”

Morgan can’t figure out her headphone situation. She has first world white girl problems. 

8:00 min

Aaron makes a weird Segway. Aaron was attracted to the way Morgan dressed.  Aaron is curious if Morgan was attracted to him in high school, or if she had to warm up to him.

In high school, Morgan talked to her friend Megan who told her Aaron didn’t date. So Morgan wrote Aaron off. Aaron wasn’t on Morgan’s radar.  

Morgan knew Aaron didn’t like Megan, so she thought Aaron didn’t like her.  But when she heard

9:30 min

Typically Morgan holds out for a lot of love, but when she knew it wasn’t unrequited love, she was interested in Aaron.  

Aaron talks about how he shouldn’t have told Megan he was picky. Megan and Morgan were always together.

Morgan says that she’s never the chaser.

11:30 min

Aaron talks about high school trying to follow Morgan. It was like a romcom. Aaron was wondering how they ended up dating.. Morgan says, “Yes you are very formal about everything.”

Morgan said Aaron had hang ups. And Aaron told her he wasn’t going to kiss her for a while. And Morgan wondered if something was wrong with her or if this was normal. 

13:30 min

Morgan was raised christian but not like Aaron was. Aaron thought Morgan was Jewish. She was a “Sunday school” Christian. She went to church, but didn’t bring it home.

When Morgan was 13 her mom told her she was Jewish. 

Aaron went to a Jewish Temple Service when Morgan’s mom invited him. Aaron had to kiss the Tora. 

15:35 min

Morgan tells Aaron how her mom renounced Christianity. The pastor told her mom that her Grandpa was going to hell. So her mom was trying to get in touch with being Jewish, andAaron was a byproduct.

17:05  minutes

Aaron asks Morgan about the moment of Aaron almost getting kicked out of a band and having to choose between music or Morgan.  What was her perception ? 

Aaron talks about it being really nervous because she was the first girlfriend that he liked a lot. Morgan says that being told he wasn’t going to kiss her didn’t feel good, but also was kind of a challenge. 

Aaron Apologizes. Morgan said she didn’t know any better but Aaron was the first guy she ever really loved. 

Morgan felt valued after being kissed. But it placed a weird ora and tension on the relationship. Morgan didn’t have the same views. Morgan liked Aaron, so she went with it. 

20:00 min

Aaron talks about always being together. And even his dad getting mad at him for getting home too late at night.

Aaron says they got really close. 

20:40 min

Aaron jumps to when he was put up to break up with Morgan. He either had to break up with Morgan or save her. 

Morgan says they ended up talking at her front door. They both did grand gestures in high school.

22:00 min

Morgan brings up cold shoulder conversation. Aaron asked if she learned about that on the podcast. They’ve talked about it before.

Morgan says that she didn’t know at the time how to communicate that she wanted the attention that she needed. She perceived Aaron wasn’t into her when he was with friends laughing and joking. 

Morgan says it was a miscommunication.

23:15 min

Morgan said she didn’t know what else to do, and Aaron says that was like her survival mechanism. Morgan says, she felt like if Aaron wasn’t paying attention to her, he wasn’t interested in her. Which she’s moved on from thinking that way. It wasn’t true. 

Aaron says they communicate much better today.

24:25 min

Morgan says that she just didn’t have a relationship model at all. 

Aaron says that they just weren’t seeing each others side. Everything is neutral. One situation can be experienced completely different from either side.

25:20 min

Aaron talks about that day, how they both weren’t able to speak each other’s truth. Aaron talks about not wanting to hurt Morgan but having to tell her the news that he was being pressured to break up with her. He felt really heavy that day. 

26:30 min

Morgan remembers things totally different. She said to Aaron, “I’m not, not-Christian. I don’t NOT believe in God.” Aaron asked her if she wanted to be. 

Morgan remembers thinking “Do I make a decision on something I’m neutral on? Or do I lose the guy that I love?”  

Morgan cared more about staying together. 

28:40 minutes

Aaron thought Morgan felt bad and she did. Morgan talked about how she was later angry at the band and that they did the least Christian thing you could do. 

Morgan says that she didn’t really care at the time but later realized what the band did was kind of fucked up. 

Aaron had to choose between a girl he loved and playing music which he also loved. 

31:45 min 

Aaron Asked Morgan, “Was there a moment when you were upset with me ?” She talks about not feeling like having a guy choose her.  Morgan said that definitely hit an emotional button.

Aaron says, to not have a guy choose you that is already in a relationship with you, that’s the kicker. Because you need to choose people in love.  

33:15 min

It still bothers Aaron. He has forgiven the band and his brother. 

34:05 min

Aaron asks Morgan, if you were me what would you have done ? 

Morgan talks about being a hopeless romantic, and she chooses the person at all costs. If she was an adult in Aaron’s shoes, without question she would have choose to be in the relationship and told the bad to deal with it.  

35:20 min 

Aaron asks Morgan, “What’s the difference between the love you were looking for then, as opposed to the love you’re looking for now?”

When she was younger, Morgan was looking for someone who was obsessed with her as she was with them. Now she is looking for a partner and an equal.  

36:33 min 

Aaron and Morgan talk about funny memes that talk about the difference dating in your 30s compared to your 20s.  

37:20 min 

Aaron mentions that he and Morgan had an on and off relationship for a long time. He relates it to her cats in the doorway. Like you want to know that it’s still available, like the door is still open. 

Morgan says, the timing was just always off. And they were kind of each other’s first loves. Or maybe because we weren’t shitty people.

Aaron says it’s like the cracked door open, but I don’t know what to put in that relationship space. 

41:05 min

Aaron Thanks Morgan for being on the podcast and being cool about it. Now they see the moments of the past, not as something to be trapped by. 

42:40 min Aaron Narrates

Hey thanks for listening. Now you know how messy my past was. I’d like to thank Morgan again for showing up and being vulnerable enough to talk about our past relationship. Maybe you’ve grabbed some take aways. The lesson I learned was, ask questions don’t assume, be honest and open in your relationship, and except your partner for who they are. 

When you put a value or an expectation on some one to be a certain way that they’re just not, it doesn’t really work. But, you can acknowledge that it doesn’t work. And, you can move on and still love them for who they are even though they’re not in your life in that way anymore. 

If you’d like to stick around, there’s another story about Morgan in a church parking thats really funny and a little inappropriate. Stay tuned if you’d like.  

This episode is brought to you by me a Self-love and Self-Acceptance Coach. 

Most of the music on this podcast is from Soundstripe. You can go to thekindoflove.com/promo and if you’re a content creator, you can get 10% OFF a music subscription for unlimited music for an entire year. 

Thanks so much for listening to the kind of love podcast!

I’m you’re coach Aaron. 

Best of love to you. 

Now here is a funny awkward story. 

44:00 min

Morgan tells a story of going to the Passion of the Christ Movie. They made out in the church parking lot. A cop came and asked them if they go to the church, they said no. And he said “Well maybe you should.”