The Enneagram: Love it or Hate it... It's Helpful with Samantha Frances

In this episode, Aaron discusses with friend and fellow Life Coach Samantha Frances about at first not liking it, but then finding interest with the enneagram.

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Show Notes

00:24 min Aaron Talks

And now the episode you’ve all been waiting for…or maybe not and thats ok too. 

Not everyone likes personality assessments and typologies like the Enneagram.

I found the Enneagram a tool that I use in helping connect partners, relationships, and people have a better understanding of themselves. 

So whatever you think about the enneagram, whether you love it or hate it, this episode could be a proper introduction for you. 

I find the enneagram on my road to recovery and now use it as a tool to help people be more empathetic and understand of their partners.  To come from a place of love rather than fear.

I invited my  friend, fellow coach & musician, Samantha Frances who also happens to be the same Enneagram number as myself. The number 6.

We’ve had many laughs about resisting or hating it at first but now see it as a useful self-growth tool.

Love it or hate it… here’s why the enneagram might be helpful for you…

1:50 min 

• Of all of the other numbers 6’s are the hardest to pic out

• Sam didn’t like the enneagram at first

• Sam thought it was BS at first

• Aaron thought it described his personality a little too well

5:20 min 

• Sam finally warmed up to the enneagram

• Once she got emotional about it she recognized it as a tool

• Aaron find it a great tool for relationships

7:40 min

• We’re not actually our fixation, it’s a coping mechanism

• Its about not taking your number personally

• Not beating yourself or using your EN number as an excuse

• Sam’s subtype is a sexual enneagram 6

• Its the motivation that defines your number

11:40 min 

• Clarifying the subtypes social, sexual and self-preservation

• Sexual subtypes are a lot more intense

• Social person is more concerned with everybody

• Counter phobic six are thrill junkies

• Sam rather be the leader of the team

14:40 min

• Social subtype finds value in being apart of the group

• Goin through each number and what their fear and what they look like

• Going backwards the 1 has a fear of “doing it wrong”

• 1, 9, and 8 are in the anger triad

• 9 lets things go and then explodes in anger

17:40 min

• The 8 is the challenger

• They are afraid of being manipulated

• 7 is the enthusiast

• Starting a lot of projects but never finishing

• Biggest fear is pain itself

21:20

• 6 is the loyalist and are driven toward chasing a false sense of safety

• 6’s are great at troubleshooting

• 7, 6 and 5 are the thinking triad and not connected to emotions

• 5 is the investigator

24:40 min

• Aaron gets a long with enneagram 5 because of the details

• Sam doesn’t like research and would rather outsource it to a EN5

• 5’s biggest fear is incompetence

27:30 min

• EN 4 is the individualist

• They see the beauty in thing, but with out looking at their own significance

• They have to create something to move through their emotions

30:20 min

• Sam wanted to be a 4 at first

• The 4 starts the emotional triad

• The 3 has a fear of not being valued or having success

• The 2 is he helper like a host or classic mom

33:10 min

• There often in a profession where they are taking care of people

• Helping is a strategy to GET love

• Most therapists are enneagram 6, AND comedians !

• Sam didn’t like the enneagram cause she couldn’t figure it out

36 min

• The enneagram will show you what you don’t like

• A self preservation EN6 is like a jewish mother

• Enneagram love hat is like getting through the first few episodes of a new Netflix serious

38:10 min

• Not everyone wants to do self-work and thats ok

• Sam likes when you know the motivation behind the number

• Aaron memorizes everyone’s number

• People think they know their number but they don’t

41:50 min

• At the end of the day enneagram is just a tool

• Has enneagram helped other relationships like family and partnerships?

44 min

Thanks for listening. 

You can connect with Sam here instagram.com/samanthafrances

You can connect with me here thekindoflove.com 

Instagram.com/aarontosti

You’ve been listening to TKOL Podcast

I’m Aaron

Best of Love to You

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If you’ve found yourself heartbroken, struggling in harmful relationship patterns, you’ve had it and are READY to claim your self-worth and experience the kind of love you want… I’d love to serve you anyway I can. - Aaron Tosti