Finding the Right Tools to Let Go with Melanie Joye
If you want great music for your podcast and social content, you can get 10% OFF unlimited licensable music at Soundstripe Music. go to thekindoflove.com/promo
In this episode Aaron talks with friend and body work expert Melanie Joye on Finding the right tools to grieve and let go from your past relationship.
Show Notes
0:27
Aaron Talks
What’s up everyone. If you’ve been with me on the last few episodes, I’ve been talking with my friend Melanie about listening to yourself and listening to your body, but also the underlying theme of perfection and how it shows up. We can have really really high expectations in life that let us down by being in a fantasy of something that doesn’t really exist.
We’ve talked about how the body doesn’t lie to us and will tell us the truth. We’ve talked about perfectionistic thinking in general. But, what happens when our high expectations aren’t met ? How do we process ? How do we go from a break up to a breakthrough ? How do we get to the other side? How do we change the idea around this other fantasy, and create another story?
How do we understand what was real? What was our partner and what was ourself in the relationship ? How do we understand what we brought to the relationship that wasn’t healthy? How do we understand what our partner brought to the relationship that wasn’t healthy ? How did it all get tied up in expectations that were completely unrealistic?
Melanie has a similar story as mine, and maybe even you, which is something that just didn’t work out. How do we deal with things in the middle of a relationship when things aren’t working the way we thought they were going to work? When they don’t look the way we thought they were going to look.
How do we come back to center ? What tools can we use to understand better so we don’t loose ourselves or loose trust in ourselves. Talking it out is good, but sometimes its not always effective. Sometimes we have to go deeper. Sometimes the past comes back up to haunt us, Especially if we’ve been traumatized in a relationship.
What are some of the tools to overcome the past pains and hurts? How do we gain a new perspective ? How do we reframe the story, and move into the story that we want to be living for ourselves?
2:55 min
Referring to Melanie’s ex as Voldemort
Being at peace with your ex
Letting go of your plans, expectations, and what you thought it was going to look like
6:15 min
Going into deep depression, panic attacks,
Reclaiming your identity
Arguing is really just wanting to be heard and understood
8:00 min
Body posture and understanding when someone else is angry
Experiential Overrides and new memories to move on from your ex
10:30 min
You don’t get to skip the steps of grieving
Many modalities to process grief
Talk therapy is good, but body work can help you
13:00 min
Enneagram, emergence body work, has become a helpful tool to gain perspective
We’ve lost the ability to listen to our bodies
Emergence isn’t for everyone, but find the tribe of tools that work for you.
15:30 min
Not being offended by friends not wanting to work with you
Find what works for you
16:30 min
Learning to trust and realizing who its about
Your face is the most intimate part of your body
There’s a big energetic exchange between two bodies
Learning how to trust your own gut, if you pull back from someone there’s a reason.
18:40 min
Where to find Melanie
Melanie prefers doing her work rather than being on social media.
20:20
Aaron Talks
I hope this episode has given you some ideas to move through and support yourself in hardship you’ve gone through. Sometimes it’s about finding the right tool that works for you to process your pain and grief from the past.
IF you’d like to connect with Melanie you can go to MealnieJoyeLMT.com
If you want to create better boundaries within yourself, in life, or with your partner and your frustrated and exhausted with harmful relationship patterns that keep repeating and resurfacing, you can connect with me at theKindofLove.com
Thank you for listening.
I’m your coach Aaron.
Best of love to you.