Loving Your Partner Enough to Take a Pause with Nick Flora
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In this episode, Aaron talks with Nick Flora about a healthy approach to taking a pause in your relationship to do more self-development.
Show Notes
:25 min
Aaron Talks
How do you know if you need a pause in your relationship ? How do you know if loving your partner in the relationship means spending some time and space apart from each other and redefine your boundaries and who YOU are.
Do you need a deeper sense of awareness or self development to continue in a relationship. Only you really know that answer.
I brought my friend and fellow coach Nick Flora to talk about that very thing. Can taking a PAUSE, which is different than a break up, to become aware of how you operate and function in the relationship, so that you can heal.
Is that possible ? Is that loving your partner? Is that loving yourself? Maybe those two things are simultaneous.
How do you navigate this? How do you know whether or not this is a threat ?
Often we get to this place where start to not like things about our partner, or find ourselves in harmful relationship patterns resurfacing. Maybe You’ve started to acknowledge that you are the common denominator in your relationship.
Either you or your partner might say, “we need to take a pause or a break.” Not break up, but just pause. How do we not see that as a threat?
It can be a loving act to want to better yourself, rethink yourself, or reframe the internal narrative happening in your mind so that you’re more of a content healed person moving forward.
Nick is in the middle of a pause in his relationship. He and his former partner are self-development coaches. I thought it would be interesting to sit down with Nick to talk about this, and what it looks like. How to love yourself and your partner during this time and grow.
Can you still stay connected with that person and create more of a bond, rather than just going in the roller coaster cycle that we often find ourselves in.
Discover your attachment style. Discover what your wants and needs are. And can you give yourself that thing you want or need? Can you be less codependent that way, by giving what you want and need to yourself?
I’ve got some questions for Nick. We’ll let the conversation go from there.
4min
Musician to coaches and doing both
Brains and barking dogs
I’ll pray for you and being “eye rolley”
10 min
How nick and Aaron met
The key that links to what everyone has in common
Shipwreck the podcast
Back and forth with relationships
13 min
stay stuck in the pattern cause it’s familiar
Nick and his former partner were both self development coaches with similar story and named Ship wrecked
15 minutes
Like getting our hearts broken over celeb couples
16 minutes audiogram
Codependency
Let’s just take a pause and the binary world
18 min
Nick just wants to be chosen
The difference between pausing in the moment and actually taking a pause
19:30 min
The basis is friendship and the misconception
21 min
Figuring out what works between Nick and his former girlfriend
Texting is making us communicate more, looking at it from an accurate lens
23 min
Why the pause?
Guilt, shame, deconstructing religion, started the path of deconstruct relationships
25:30 min
Who am I when I’m alone ? Connection to self-worth
26:30
Loving your partner enough to take a pause
Practice being the best version of me while pausing. Its like the house analogy
30 min
Being friends with everyone is not knowing yourself
Shifting your intentions in the moment
32 min
Oxygen in the relationship to let it breathe
Spending intentional time with yourself
practice being alone
33:50 min
Being the observer of yourself and befriending yourself
Not everything in life is threat to me and who I am
37 min
Learning to parent yourself
Ultimate freedom matched with maturity is knowing how to love yourself
Intention matches the outcome
40 min
Chasing or avoiding intimacy
What are your harmful patterns?
40:30 min
Aaron Talks
Hey there! Did you get any golden nuggets, wisdom, or knowledge in there. Anything thing that you rethought about yourself? Let me know by giving a review of this podcast.
We continue this conversation on the next episode. Nick and I talk about what to expect after a relationship?
My mantra is best intentions low attachment. So what can expect from a pause? If you want to connect with Nick Flora you can find him on instagram @nickflora
Thanks for listening.
I’m Aaron.
Best of Love to you.