Now That I Know Better with Morgan Pratt
In this episode …
Morgan continues to share her story about dating a sociopath, and what she’s learned from it all.
SHOW NOTES
:25 min Aaron Narrates
After talking with Morgan about the red flags of a narcissist and possible sociopath, we now talk about understanding this specific trauma and finding awareness and healing on the other side.
We try to see the other side of the trauma. Morgan talks about not needing someone to complete her in her life. Rather just two good people coming together.
We can’t blame ourself for what we don’t know. We can only do better once we know better.
A sociopath doesn’t actually care about you. They’ll just move on to the next person. So what do you do? How do you see this as a gift? How do you learn from such a dysfunctional relationship?
It’s shocking when someone has been lying to you. So how do you take off the blinders.
How do you trust your intuition again now that you’re re-learning to see what’s a lie and whats the truth?
When something dramatic or traumatic happens, you have to understand what its about for you. You have to see what the other person created and what you created. Understand their pain doesn’t have to be your suffering. When you start acknowledging that this was a pattern of someone else, and that it wasn’t about you. You stop blaming yourself. And when you stop blaming yourself, that’s the first step into loving and healing yourself.
If you can see this unfortunate experience as a gift, such as going through this level of trauma, it can motivate you for your next relationship. You will want to be even more aware for that next person, and attract someone who is as healthy as you are.
4:10 min
Morgan had to figure out morning the loss of someone who isn’t even real. She was romantically over him immediately.
Morgan says the self work of it was understanding why it happened. What about myself, attracted a person like that.
Morgan says they target honesty.
7:30 min
Morgan talks about her child wound of not having a father around. She says it was like her subconscious was looking for what looked like security.
Morgan realizes no one can complete you. She says you don’t need someone to make yourself complete in your life.
10:30 min
Morgan blamed herself for not seeing or not knowing. You can only be responsible for what I did know. I can’t beat myself up for what I didn’t know.
12 min
Not shaming yourself for what you haven’t learned yet. You would be shaming your intuition.
Different phases you go through.
It’s a very specific trauma. First phase being denial.
Morgan was distracted at first by her Ex moving on. A sociopath will move on to a new person.
You have to look at yourself and see it as a super dysfunctional gift.
16 min
Why does Morgan’s friend want to be hold onto a dysfunctional ex ?
When you move in with somebody, you’re giving up part of your life to be with someone.
17:40 min
It’s a rude awakening to know that someone’s lied to you in a relationship.
You get comfortable and use to the love trauma.
Some people make it a full body break up experience. Morgan feels all of the things. Aaron Things all of the things.
20 min
Aaron asks Morgan, “what is the love that you do want now that you’ve been through such a traumatic relationship.”
Morgan listens to her intuition. Now she knows the red flags. “There’s something that I’m not trusting with you”
You need to be on the same page and have the same values.
22 min
Morgan just not dating right now. She took a break. Morgan feels like she is as healed as she can be.
Lying is a deal breaking, non negotiable for Morgan
23 min
Little “t” triggers and big “T” Triggers, or small red flags and big red flags.
“When you’re wearing rose colored glasses, they all just look like flags.”- Morgan
It’s a lot of upfront conversation to be honest from the beginning.
25:30 min
What looks safe for Morgan dating again? When does she share her story with her new partner ?
If someone doesn’t know your wounds of the past, they might still be a trustworthy person who is pushing your triggers and not knowing it.
“I would like to think that the next relationship that person will be able to hold space for me.” - Morgan
27:20 min
After all of this dysfunctional talk, Aaron said he’s looking for some kind of silverzlining and true love in Morgan’s story.
If you’ve been digesting lies for a long time. At some point you have to let yourself purge all of that crap.
Shame want’s to hide it, so instead bring it out into the light.
Morgan put out there as public knowledge and had women respond with “He did that to me too”
You tend to blame yourself, but when you look at it and see that it’s a pattern you don’t blame yourself.
It puts light on all the times someones makes YOU feel like you’re “crazy” and then you realize they’re the crazy maker.
30:40 min
Morgan’s at a place where she’s really happy with herself. But she does want to be with someone who is equal to the healthy relationship she wants to be in.
Morgans ok if she doesn’t find it.
32 min
It turns to a dating in your 30s conversation. Morgan says she wants to cut herself some slack.
Nothing ever happens on the timeline you think it does. If it happen’s cool if it doesn’t cool. I’ll be ok.
Morgan says, “My current relationship is very successful” referring to being single.
33:40 min
Aaron thanks Morgan for spreading the awareness of the conversation.
Morgan’s advises to reach out others and bring crappy things to light and trust your intuition.
Find people that will help and talk with you through it.
Morgan didn’t realize she was in an abusive relationship until someone else helped her see that.
36:20 min
Love is no strings attached and with someone like a sociopath all the strings are attached and you become a puppet.
38 min
Healing relationships is all about having an awareness.
Become aware of behavior patterns, trust your intuition and when something doesn’t go the way you expect, see it as a gift. When you appreciate it as a gift, you see it as a learning experience, and you gain the power of awareness. You can only change and heal from what you are aware of. Many people would want to stuff, his, run from, avoid an experience like this, but they don’t give themselves a chance to heal.
Thanks for listening TKOL Podcast
I’m Aaron.
Best of Love to You