Unpaused and Out of Purgatory. Now Let's Laugh!
In this solo episode …
Aaron talks about the return to the podcast while sharing a bit of his self-development journey. He’s bringing it back full circle to the original idea his friend had… to tell funny love stories. ‘Cause love get’s weird sometimes.. tell me about it.
Production by Eric Hood
Theme Music by Steve Wilmot
All other Music by Soundstripe
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SHOW NOTES
Intro
00:00 min
Welcome back everyone... this is the official unpause of TKOL Podcast.
I have taken a break, only to return with a new tone to this podcast ... returning back to where it started and why I call it TKOL in the first place ..
I went through my own personal discovery starting with an emotionally focused therapy, and then love coaches that taught me about mindfulness, and then coming full circle into understanding the body and nervous system.
To sum it up.. I have a mind body and soul approach to healing and having healthy relationships.
And I want to take a lighter look at it…
:45 min
Welcome to TKOL Podcast.. I'm Aaron Tosti.
A while back a good friend of mine said I should write a book called "The kind of love I'm getting I don't want, and the kind of love I want I ain't getting." an autobiography of weird love stories... so I made it into a podcast.
Not only to share my stories, but other peoples stories... maybe even yours.
Love gets weird some times right ? ...tell me about it
1:00 min - The conversation
Why did this podcast get so serious ?
Hi I'm Aaron, I’ve unpaused things at TKOL Podcast.
I wanted to give you an update, a pep talk, and a tell you a bit about my journey up until now.
2:15 min
I went back and listened to the first guest with my friend Josh who originally sparked the idea of the podcast.
I shifted the conversation for a while about the stories we tell ourselves, and the deeper meaning.
3:35 min
But, I just wanted to remember that love can be funny ..
I went on a date and I was putting a lot of pressure on it, and my friend said to me “It’s either going to work out or be a funny story.”
… and I said, “Ah yes, Thanks Friend.”
Sometimes we go into relationships and put all of this pressure on it and it’s because we’re not enjoying the present moment.
I wonder, is it possible to take off the facades that we carry around trying to gain social approval and just love people once in a while?
5:30 min
Warning, this might get rant-y, funny, weird and even deep.
I tend to go deep and introspective, but talked to my dad and he said, “I don’t understand, can you hit me with the bottom line.”
Let’s hit dad with the truth
6 min
Sometimes you have to take a pause…
So you can go deep and unpeel all of the layers of your life and become more self-aware... but then finally ask what is all of this for anyway?
Can there just be a night where I’m dating someone, enjoying our time simply laughing on the couch.
The reason I paused was that things were just getting too heavy and deep.
7:20 min
I now reached “self development purgatory” from so much deep stuff.
Maybe you’ve worked with the stories we tell ourselves and other “thought work”
Maybe you’re working on an emotional approach to better health.
Maybe it’s about your physical health and getting stronger.
… I went down that rabbit hole.
I’m more of an analytical and so “the stories we tell ourselves” made sense.
Like the 90’s movie “Big Fish”... it is how you tell the story.
9 min
Mental health is really about emotional health
I was listening to Dr. Joe Dispenza meditations trying to manifest my love life and business in to existence.
You can change your thoughts all you want, but you have this whole thing below your neck called your nervous system that can take over and put you into a survival mode.
I also got into the enneagram and other elf- help stuff.
10:25 min
Ten years ago I was sitting in front of a therapist how I messed up a relationship.
I started questioning my own patterns, but it got so serious.
But I needed to look within and do the inner work.
I wanted to change the patterns of my past and relationship patterswhich got me into all of this work.
11:25 min
It all started with an EFT (emotionally focused therapy), talking about my emotions.
Noticed I was repeating myself and my patterns and what I was taking… AND it was getting kind of expensive.
Then I worked with "love" coaches and they helped me see how we become self fulfilling prophecies.
13 min
I got into all of the mental health things/
I started with mindfulness, observing my thoughts, and it helped me quit smoking.
It’s a form of “narrative therapy”.
But I did a lot of mediations
14 min
I would meditate and feel good for a few hours and then go back to feeling like garbage.
Why I am still sad, depressed, and stressed ?
But I was ignoring the body.
Started doing work with Mastin Kipp who has brought awareness around the idea of how we wire ourselves for relationships down to our nervous system.
I went down a mind, body, soul path.
Let’s acknowledge all of it.
For instance, anxiety is really great for outrunning a predator, but not helpful when.
16 min
Brace yourself here comes a heavy word... trauma.
I heard that the opposite of trauma is humor and play, and I thought to myself “I’ve been going at this all wrong”
17 min
The podcast started with a very funny idea of Josh’s, and I’ve gotten away from it.
It all started with a funny book title
Introspection is interesting, going
But, Like can you also tell me a funny story?
Laughter is letting go and healing your wounds. So We’re going to start laughing from now on.
We’re going to start sharing some weird stories.
18:50 min
I can't live in the "heavy" for too long... I need a pattern interrupt
Life can be light and easy and fun sometimes too.
And I just wanted to tell you that we’re changing things up.
19:40 min
Let’s have Josh back... write it in the review section that you would like to have Josh Hernandez back on TKOL Podcast.
I’m going to have some other familiar people back like coaches, therapists, and maybe even family.
I got “Why So Serious?” From the the movie, the Dark Knight.
Let’s get back to humor and play and long form content.
21:30 min
Told you a little about my journey.
I and ended up coaching for my childhood therapist, it’s like your favorite band asking you to play with them if you were a musician.
22:30 min
Thanks for listening. We’re going to start having some fun.
Take a screenshot of your review about Josh Hernandez and send it to my DM on instagram.
And I’ll give you a surprise coaching session.
23:22 min - Closing
Hey, Thank you so much for listening,
Make sure to click that subscribe button so you don’t miss an episode.
And another great way to support this podcast is to leave a 5 star review wherever you listen to this podcast and tell us what you love about the episode.
It helps us grow by sharing stories resonate.
You can also find us on the web at thekindoflove.com
Also on instagram @TKOL.Podcast
Or you can follow me personally @aarontosti
Thanks again,
I’m Aaron.
Best of Love to You
FIND THE FREEDOM TO BE YOUR MOST AUTHENTIC, UNAPOLOGETIC SELF AND ATTRACT THE LOVE YOU DESERVE.
— Aaron Tosti, Self Healing Coach