Understanding Love Traumas in the Body with Lindsley Brooks

Aaron Talks with friend and guest Lindsley Brooks about understanding love traumas in the body.

Show Outline

00:26

Aaron Talks

Have you ever been frustrated with patterns within yourself or within your relationship that continue to resurface and repeat? 

In this season we talk about self healing. We need to Become aware of the patterns first so we can begin to reframe our love. 

This episode I’ve invited my good friend Lindsley Brooks to help us talk about the mind, body and spirit connection. 

How do we become aware of whats happening in our body as well as whats in our mind so we can be completely mindful of everything.

Pyschology 101 has elude to us that we bring our trauma from the past into our relationship. And now we know that it plays out unconsciously. The trauma becomes trigger points and emotional buttons that get pressed. When we react to those, we create more of the love we don’t want. 

So where does the mind and body connection come in?

Lindsley is an Intuitive Counselor and Energy Healer.  She helps us look at how we can become greater than the wounds of our past. So that we don’t continue to bring them into our relationship, even if our relationship with ourselves. 

2 min

Did Aaron just say Linsey ? He meant Lindsley. 

Lindsley is an intuitive counselor and energy healer. 

3:10 min

Lindsley talks about energy  healing on in the body and in spaces. 

She involves mind body and spirit in the home. And most people are not familiar with how their living space effects them on a subconscious level. Its All connected. 

4:40 min

You have to address it from a wholistic background. Otherwise you’re just scratching at the surface.

Aaron talks about completely removing yourself from your environment. 

6:12 min

Aaron asks,  if Lindsley has worked with someone where  there has been a profound shift after recognizing your body when it comes to love and relationships.  

Lindsley talks about being relational beings. She got into this after her own big break up. 

You can’t address spiritual, without addressing emotional, mind and body. 

7:15 min

Trauma from childhood contributes to your relationships now. And you have to start doing your own inner work.

You start with a therapist. Lindsley said her therapy only got her so far. 

She’s always been fascinated in human experience. 

9:24 min

She was taught that her emotions were bad and that her body had religious programming. 

The kingdom of heaven is within. 

10:45 min

Aaron asks if Lindsley could share what awareness she came to understanding about her body and being triggered. 

Lindsley was constantly trying to fix her ex husband who was an alcoholic. Panic attacks. Felt out of control. And those were traumas being triggered in her, and she was being re-traumatized.

Betrayal, stomach issues. She new she had to address the issue. 

What were these issues and triggers trying to tell her ?

12:35 min

Lindsley says, “I was in an unhealthy relationship.”

What is the catalyst that wakes you up to the disfunction. We don’t want to admit that the relationship is not going well. 

Lindsley Bleeps her self. 

Your body and your mind talking to each other. And we go into denial. Shame is a big part. But letting our mind know its ok to listen to our body.

13:52 min

There are big T and little t traumas. We have all experience trauma on some level. Trauma is when your brain is developed enough to handle it and it effects the point that can’t form language yet.

My body remembers even though the brain says you should have moved on. 

Big T traumas are like war, abuse, abandonment. 

Little t Traumas that can be break ups, job loss, divorce. Not everybody experiences that word the same. 

16:40 min

I’m not a victim there was childhood event thats being re- traumatized.  

Your body doesn’t know the difference between the actual event and what you’re rehearsing in your mind. 

18:00 Min

The first step to stepping out of your trauma is always becoming aware. Most people are unaware of this unprocessed emotion.

They don’t connect the dots that when they are in an argument with their spouse that the old childhood wound is being triggered. It’s still in the body and in that part of the brain that signaling the trauma. 

Its probably not just about you. Then you have to PAUSE and I need to do something to create safety and move that energy out of your body. You have to trust yourself enough that its not just about your partner. 

You have to be willing to look at this memory and be ok on the other side. 

19:20 min

It’s our survival instinct to not feel negative emotion but because we are human we have to feel all of the emotions. You have to create a container to process. Then you can do your relationship better. And so you’re not governed by that trigger which is your trauma. 

20:10 min

How does that look in a story of abandonment?

Maybe there parents didn’t show up for them. But now they are projecting on to everyone. 

It could be emotional abandonment and not having your emotions being seen. 

A belief system and a subconscious program that says that I’m not safe being alone. 

It’s like putting a lens on your life. 

22:06 min

Lindsley said her trigger was “I’m too much” My emotions are too much. My personality is too much. Its the reverse story of not enough.

Its a fear based beleif. People joke about bear goggles but this is like your FEAR goggles. It becomes a filter you put on everything. 

When you go into your relationship thats what you see and your body doesn’t know the difference. 

23:16 min

A panic attack is usually saying your not living in a the same reality.

You bring the FEAR Goggles into everything and all your relationship. 

If you’re not aware of that everything start breaking down. 

24:30 min

Lindsey said when she was in survival mode for so long, once her divorce happened, she got re-triggered. She had to face herself. 

The fear of being too much turned into somethings wrong with me. 

Why is the post divorce feeling effecting me so much? There was still so much to process.

26:00 min

Aaron Asks, “How do you start listening to your body ?”

Lindsley talks about somatic healing. To access the grief and the sadness and the pain. 

Eastern Tradition. Every emotion is connect to an organ. 

What can you do so you can rage in a safe environment. 

With energy work, the goal is to move out the energy. 

28:30 min

Any dis-ease in the body will create disease in the body.

Anything thats stagnant has no movement, what parts of your body are having sensation.

The win of listening to your body, is to not manifest a sickness or to not continue in the story. 

Your body doesn’t know the difference between stress and excitement. 

30:05 min

Aaron talks about his hypnotherapy session. 

He carries stress in his chest. 

The enneagram 6 fixation is looking to be grounded. 

Aaron relates is session to the end of Inside Out the Pixar film. 

The human experience is learning how to hold all of the emotions at once. 

Aaron felt his sadness and acknowledged that he could move forward. 

Have you ever been frustrated about patterns that continue to resurface and repeat? and do you want to create a trusting intimate relationship with your partner?

This is part 2 of the mind body and spirit connect conversation I have with my friend Lindsley Brooke’s who is an energy healer and Intuitive Counselor. 

The word toxic gets thrown around a lot in relationships and I asked Linsley if we could look deeper into what unhealthy masculinity and femininity actually looks like. And also what Healthy masculine and feminine energy looks like. 

33:20 min - Aaron Talks

Thanks for listening. My biggest take-away is feeling through your emotions. A lot of us have been taught and our survival selfs have been taught to ignore our emotions and not listen to them. And then when we react off of those emotions that we’ve ran from or hidden, they manifest in us or in our relationship in some other way.

So to get to to the kind of love we do want, we have to acknowledge ourselves first.

If you’d like to connect with Lindsley, you can go to LindsleyBrookes.com or look up Lindsley Brookes on any of the social media platforms.

On the next episode we’ll be talking about Healthy Masculine and Femine energy as a pose to Unhealthy, Toxic masculine and feminine energy. If you’re curious about how your traumas from the past is showing up and effecting your intimacy in your relationship, you’ll want to listen to the next episode.

As always thanks for listening. If you are struggling with patterns that seem to resurface and repeat in your life, relationships with others, or with in yourself. Do you want to take control of how you respond in your relationship? You can connect with me at theKindofLove.com

I’m your Coach Aaron.

Best of Love to you.