Oh Great, Like You Needed An Episode About Love on Valentine's Day

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In this special valentine’s day episode, Aaron talks about being present, grateful, and not giving away the end of your love story.

Show Notes

:24 min

Hey all you lovers out there ! Welcome to Valentines week. This is a special episode because it’s Valentine’s Day week, and I want to talk about love. Surprised?

You might be thinking, oh great Aaron’s probably going  to give us some inspirational speech about how to love better during this holiday. You might be committed to hating this hallmark Holliday for said reasons. And that’s ok. Continue to hate it while I put a positive spin on it. Because, like many of you I’m a recovering hopeless romantic on a journey to finding true love.. so you’re right I Am going to reframe valentines day !  Here we go! Ready?

1:25 min

What are we going to talk about ? Being present, being grateful, and being open Curious /Open. (Kind of the Same thing.) 

You never know what love is coming your way. Another way of saying these three things is choosing yourself and what you want and need, focus your attention on what you do love in your life, and who or what you love already, and don’t give away the end of the movie of your love life.

1:43 min

It doesn’t really matter where you’re at on Valentine’s Day or what kind of relationship you have. Whether you think it’s just some stupid Hallmark tradition or you’re going through a really really rough time in a relationship. Or maybe you have a great relationship and you just want to keep that good thing going. 

Maybe you are a recovering hopeless romantic like myself. You want to belief that true love exists, but drop the head conversation that says it may never work out for you. 

I was that guy that watched way too many John Cusack films. One of my favorite scenes of all time from the movie High Fidelity was after Rob and Laura had a big break up, and they finally got back together with Laura he asks her what she thought about getting married. He tells her he’s tired of chasing the fantasy of being in a relationship with other women in his head. He says the fantasy gets old, but that he never really gets tired of being with her. 

3:00 min

I think that’s a more honest moment out of the rom com movies that I’ve seen in my lifetime. We continue to choose to be with someone and we let that love grow. We continue to crawl into love with someone rather than just falling head over heels so to speak and then later regretting ourselves for  the unrealistic idea and expectation we placed on that person.

3:28 min

Here are my core values for a positive spin on Valentine’s Day. Cause really, we want every day to be valentines day. Vote for love everyday. 

So what do I mean by being present, grateful and curious?

Being present allows you to choose what you want in the moment. It means choosing yourself and knowing what you don’t want and what you do want in your relationship. It’s saying no to what you don’t want faster because you know your boundaries and values. And when you can say no to the love that you don’t want you’re clear enough to say yes to love that you do want when it shows up. In or out of a relationship, this is true.

4:14 min

Being grateful means just that. Appreciating the love that you already have in your life. If you’re with someone remind yourself why you first fell in love with them.  If you’re single and don’t have a date this Valentine’s Day, do what you love. Fall in love with that. Fall in love with what you enjoy about being with yourself. Focus on those you love in your life like your friends and family. Pick three things you like about yourself and remind yourself that you love that thing about yourself. 

4:55 min

All the yogis and coaches will tell you where you place your attention is where you place your energy, because that’s true. Often we’re operating from fear that we don’t have some thing or maybe we’ve given up on love altogether. But when you’re in that state of emptiness, loneliness, despair, frustration, resentment, you’re trying to fill some void that not even a significant other will fill. So remind yourself of the things that you love. Take yourself out on a date. Treat yo’ self.

5:33 min

 Now being open and curious. Often we don’t have a clue of what’s best for us. And when we start to commit to our limitations we close off possibilities in our life. It’s easier to be in a relationship with some thing you know that’s predictable because it’s safe. You know what pain feels like so you’ll stay there. It’s familiar. But staying open and curious leaves the story open for other possibility. No one wants to go into a movie knowing how things work out so don’t give away the end of your own movie. Be the director of your own film by being open to other possibilities.

6:30 min

Hope you have an awesome Valentines day remember to be present and choose yourself, be grateful and remind yourself of what you love, be open to the fact that you don’t know what good thing might be around the corner.

Thanks for listening to TKOL podcast. 

You can apply to coach with me at thekindoflove.com/love-recovery

I’m Aaron.

As always best of love to you.